The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Haunted Man and the Ghost's Bargin by Charles Dickens (#6 in our series by Charles Dickens) Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook. This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit the header without written permission. Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is important information about your specific rights and restrictions in how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. **Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** **eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** *****These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!***** Title: The Haunted Man and the Ghost's Bargin Author: Charles Dickens Release Date: September, 1996 [EBook #644] [This file was first posted on September 11, 1996] [Most recently updated: September 2, 2002] Edition: 10 Language: English Character set encoding: ASCII
Transcribed from the 1907 J. M. Dent and Co. edition by David Price,
email ccx074@coventry.ac.uk
THE HAUNTED MAN AND THE GHOST’S BARGAIN
CHAPTER I - The Gift Bestowed
Everybody said so.
Far be it from me to assert that what everybody says must be true.
Everybody is, often, as likely to be wrong as right. In the general
experience, everybody has been wrong so often, and it has taken, in
most instances, such a weary while to find out how wrong, that the authority
is proved to be fallible. Everybody may sometimes be right; “but
that’s no rule,” as the ghost of Giles Scroggins
says in the ballad.
The dread word, GHOST, recalls me.
Everybody said he looked like a haunted man. The extent of my
present claim for everybody is, that they were so far right. He
did.
Who could have seen his hollow cheek; his sunken brilliant eye; his
black-attired figure, indefinably grim, although well-knit and well-proportioned;
his grizzled hair hanging, like tangled sea-weed, about his face, -
as if he had been, through his whole life, a lonely mark for the chafing
and beating of the great deep of humanity, - but might have said he
looked like a haunted man?
Who could have observed his manner, taciturn, thoughtful, gloomy, shadowed
by habitual reserve, retiring always and jocund never, with a distraught
air of reverting to a bygone place and time, or of listening to some
old echoes in his mind, but might have said it was the manner of a haunted
man?
Who could have heard his voice, slow-speaking, deep, and grave, with
a natural fulness and melody in it which he seemed to set himself against
and stop, but might have said it was the voice of a haunted man?
Who that had seen him in his inner chamber, part library and part laboratory,
- for he was, as the world knew, far and wide, a learned man in chemistry,
and a teacher on whose lips and hands a crowd of aspiring ears and eyes
hung daily, - who that had seen him there, upon a winter night, alone,
surrounded by his drugs and instruments and books; the shadow of his
shaded lamp a monstrous beetle on the wall, motionless among a crowd
of spectral shapes raised there by the flickering of the fire upon the
quaint objects around him; some of these phantoms (the reflection of
glass vessels that held liquids), trembling at heart like things that
knew his power to uncombine them, and to give back their component parts
to fire and vapour; - who that had seen him then, his work done, and
he pondering in his chair before the rusted grate and red flame, moving
his thin mouth as if in speech, but silent as the dead, would not have
said that the man seemed haunted and the chamber too?
Who might not, by a very easy flight of fancy, have believed that everything
about him took this haunted tone, and that he lived on haunted ground?
His dwelling was so solitary and vault-like, - an old, retired part
of an ancient endowment for students, once a brave edifice, planted
in an open place, but now the obsolete whim of forgotten architects;
smoke-age-and-weather-darkened, squeezed on every side by the overgrowing
of the great city, and choked, like an old well, with stones and bricks;
its small quadrangles, lying down in very pits formed by the streets
and buildings, which, in course of time, had been constructed above
its heavy chimney stalks; its old trees, insulted by the neighbouring
smoke, which deigned to droop so low when it was very feeble and the
weather very moody; its grass-plots, struggling with the mildewed earth
to be grass, or to win any show of compromise; its silent pavements,
unaccustomed to the tread of feet, and even to the observation of eyes,
except when a stray face looked down from the upper world, wondering
what nook it was; its sun-dial in a little bricked-up corner, where
no sun had straggled for a hundred years, but where, in compensation
for the sun’s neglect, the snow would lie for weeks when it lay
nowhere else, and the black east wind would spin like a huge humming-top,
when in all other places it was silent and still.
His dwelling, at its heart and core - within doors - at his fireside
- was so lowering and old, so crazy, yet so strong, with its worn-eaten
beams of wood in the ceiling, and its sturdy floor shelving downward
to the great oak chimney-piece; so environed and hemmed in by the pressure
of the town yet so remote in fashion, age, and custom; so quiet, yet
so thundering with echoes when a distant voice was raised or a door
was shut, - echoes, not confined to the many low passages and empty
rooms, but rumbling and grumbling till they were stifled in the heavy
air of the forgotten Crypt where the Norman arches were half-buried
in the earth.
You should have seen him in his dwelling about twilight, in the dead
winter time.
When the wind was blowing, shrill and shrewd, with the going down of
the blurred sun. When it was just so dark, as that the forms of
things were indistinct and big - but not wholly lost. When sitters
by the fire began to see wild faces and figures, mountains and abysses,
ambuscades and armies, in the coals. When people in the streets
bent down their heads and ran before the weather. When those who
were obliged to meet it, were stopped at angry corners, stung by wandering
snow-flakes alighting on the lashes of their eyes, - which fell too
sparingly, and were blown away too quickly, to leave a trace upon the
frozen ground. When windows of private houses closed up tight
and warm. When lighted gas began to burst forth in the busy and
the quiet streets, fast blackening otherwise. When stray pedestrians,
shivering along the latter, looked down at the glowing fires in kitchens,
and sharpened their sharp appetites by sniffing up the fragrance of
whole miles of dinners.
When travellers by land were bitter cold, and looked wearily on gloomy
landscapes, rustling and shuddering in the blast. When mariners
at sea, outlying upon icy yards, were tossed and swung above the howling
ocean dreadfully. When lighthouses, on rocks and headlands, showed
solitary and watchful; and benighted sea-birds breasted on against their
ponderous lanterns, and fell dead. When little readers of story-books,
by the firelight, trembled to think of Cassim Baba cut into quarters,
hanging in the Robbers’ Cave, or had some small misgivings that
the fierce little old woman, with the crutch, who used to start out
of the box in the merchant Abudah’s bedroom, might, one of these
nights, be found upon the stairs, in the long, cold, dusky journey up
to bed.
When, in rustic places, the last glimmering of daylight died away from
the ends of avenues; and the trees, arching overhead, were sullen and
black. When, in parks and woods, the high wet fern and sodden
moss, and beds of fallen leaves, and trunks of trees, were lost to view,
in masses of impenetrable shade. When mists arose from dyke, and
fen, and river. When lights in old halls and in cottage windows,
were a cheerful sight. When the mill stopped, the wheelwright
and the blacksmith shut their workshops, the turnpike-gate closed, the
plough and harrow were left lonely in the fields, the labourer and team
went home, and the striking of the church clock had a deeper sound than
at noon, and the churchyard wicket would be swung no more that night.
When twilight everywhere released the shadows, prisoned up all day,
that now closed in and gathered like mustering swarms of ghosts.
When they stood lowering, in corners of rooms, and frowned out from
behind half-opened doors. When they had full possession of unoccupied
apartments. When they danced upon the floors, and walls, and ceilings
of inhabited chambers, while the fire was low, and withdrew like ebbing
waters when it sprang into a blaze. When they fantastically mocked
the shapes of household objects, making the nurse an ogress, the rocking-horse
a monster, the wondering child, half-scared and half-amused, a stranger
to itself, - the very tongs upon the hearth, a straddling giant with
his arms a-kimbo, evidently smelling the blood of Englishmen, and wanting
to grind people’s bones to make his bread.
When these shadows brought into the minds of older people, other thoughts,
and showed them different images. When they stole from their retreats,
in the likenesses of forms and faces from the past, from the grave,
from the deep, deep gulf, where the things that might have been, and
never were, are always wandering.
When he sat, as already mentioned, gazing at the fire. When, as
it rose and fell, the shadows went and came. When he took no heed
of them, with his bodily eyes; but, let them come or let them go, looked
fixedly at the fire. You should have seen him, then.
When the sounds that had arisen with the shadows, and come out of their
lurking-places at the twilight summons, seemed to make a deeper stillness
all about him. When the wind was rumbling in the chimney, and
sometimes crooning, sometimes howling, in the house. When the
old trees outside were so shaken and beaten, that one querulous old
rook, unable to sleep, protested now and then, in a feeble, dozy, high-up
“Caw!” When, at intervals, the window trembled, the
rusty vane upon the turret-top complained, the clock beneath it recorded
that another quarter of an hour was gone, or the fire collapsed and
fell in with a rattle.
- When a knock came at his door, in short, as he was sitting so, and
roused him.
“Who’s that?” said he. “Come in!”
Surely there had been no figure leaning on the back of his chair; no
face looking over it. It is certain that no gliding footstep touched
the floor, as he lifted up his head, with a start, and spoke.
And yet there was no mirror in the room on whose surface his own form
could have cast its shadow for a moment; and, Something had passed darkly
and gone!
“I’m humbly fearful, sir,” said a fresh-coloured busy
man, holding the door open with his foot for the admission of himself
and a wooden tray he carried, and letting it go again by very gentle
and careful degrees, when he and the tray had got in, lest it should
close noisily, “that it’s a good bit past the time to-night.
But Mrs. William has been taken off her legs so often” -
“By the wind? Ay! I have heard it rising.”
“ - By the wind, sir - that it’s a mercy she got home at
all. Oh dear, yes. Yes. It was by the wind, Mr. Redlaw.
By the wind.”
He had, by this time, put down the tray for dinner, and was employed
in lighting the lamp, and spreading a cloth on the table. From
this employment he desisted in a hurry, to stir and feed the fire, and
then resumed it; the lamp he had lighted, and the blaze that rose under
his hand, so quickly changing the appearance of the room, that it seemed
as if the mere coming in of his fresh red face and active manner had
made the pleasant alteration.
“Mrs. William is of course subject at any time, sir, to be taken
off her balance by the elements. She is not formed superior to
that.”
“No,” returned Mr. Redlaw good-naturedly, though abruptly.
“No, sir. Mrs. William may be taken off her balance by Earth;
as for example, last Sunday week, when sloppy and greasy, and she going
out to tea with her newest sister-in-law, and having a pride in herself,
and wishing to appear perfectly spotless though pedestrian. Mrs.
William may be taken off her balance by Air; as being once over-persuaded
by a friend to try a swing at Peckham Fair, which acted on her constitution
instantly like a steam-boat. Mrs. William may be taken off her
balance by Fire; as on a false alarm of engines at her mother’s,
when she went two miles in her nightcap. Mrs. William may be taken
off her balance by Water; as at Battersea, when rowed into the piers
by her young nephew, Charley Swidger junior, aged twelve, which had
no idea of boats whatever. But these are elements. Mrs.
William must be taken out of elements for the strength of her
character to come into play.”
As he stopped for a reply, the reply was “Yes,” in the same
tone as before.
“Yes, sir. Oh dear, yes!” said Mr. Swidger, still
proceeding with his preparations, and checking them off as he made them.
“That’s where it is, sir. That’s what I always
say myself, sir. Such a many of us Swidgers! - Pepper. Why
there’s my father, sir, superannuated keeper and custodian of
this Institution, eighty-seven year old. He’s a Swidger!
- Spoon.”
“True, William,” was the patient and abstracted answer,
when he stopped again.
“Yes, sir,” said Mr. Swidger. “That’s
what I always say, sir. You may call him the trunk of the tree!
- Bread. Then you come to his successor, my unworthy self - Salt
- and Mrs. William, Swidgers both. - Knife and fork. Then you
come to all my brothers and their families, Swidgers, man and woman,
boy and girl. Why, what with cousins, uncles, aunts, and relationships
of this, that, and t’other degree, and whatnot degree, and marriages,
and lyings-in, the Swidgers - Tumbler - might take hold of hands, and
make a ring round England!”
Receiving no reply at all here, from the thoughtful man whom he addressed,
Mr. William approached, him nearer, and made a feint of accidentally
knocking the table with a decanter, to rouse him. The moment he
succeeded, he went on, as if in great alacrity of acquiescence.
“Yes, sir! That’s just what I say myself, sir.
Mrs. William and me have often said so. ‘There’s Swidgers
enough,’ we say, ‘without our voluntary contributions,’
- Butter. In fact, sir, my father is a family in himself - Castors
- to take care of; and it happens all for the best that we have no child
of our own, though it’s made Mrs. William rather quiet-like, too.
Quite ready for the fowl and mashed potatoes, sir? Mrs. William
said she’d dish in ten minutes when I left the Lodge.”
“I am quite ready,” said the other, waking as from a dream,
and walking slowly to and fro.
“Mrs. William has been at it again, sir!” said the keeper,
as he stood warming a plate at the fire, and pleasantly shading his
face with it. Mr. Redlaw stopped in his walking, and an expression
of interest appeared in him.
“What I always say myself, sir. She will do it!
There’s a motherly feeling in Mrs. William’s breast that
must and will have went.”
“What has she done?”
“Why, sir, not satisfied with being a sort of mother to all the
young gentlemen that come up from a variety of parts, to attend your
courses of lectures at this ancient foundation - its surprising how
stone-chaney catches the heat this frosty weather, to be sure!”
Here he turned the plate, and cooled his fingers.
“Well?” said Mr. Redlaw.
“That’s just what I say myself, sir,” returned Mr.
William, speaking over his shoulder, as if in ready and delighted assent.
“That’s exactly where it is, sir! There ain’t
one of our students but appears to regard Mrs. William in that light.
Every day, right through the course, they puts their heads into the
Lodge, one after another, and have all got something to tell her, or
something to ask her. ‘Swidge’ is the appellation
by which they speak of Mrs. William in general, among themselves, I’m
told; but that’s what I say, sir. Better be called ever
so far out of your name, if it’s done in real liking, than have
it made ever so much of, and not cared about! What’s a name
for? To know a person by. If Mrs. William is known by something
better than her name - I allude to Mrs. William’s qualities and
disposition - never mind her name, though it is Swidger, by rights.
Let ’em call her Swidge, Widge, Bridge - Lord! London Bridge,
Blackfriars, Chelsea, Putney, Waterloo, or Hammersmith Suspension -
if they like.”
The close of this triumphant oration brought him and the plate to the
table, upon which he half laid and half dropped it, with a lively sense
of its being thoroughly heated, just as the subject of his praises entered
the room, bearing another tray and a lantern, and followed by a venerable
old man with long grey hair.
Mrs. William, like Mr. William, was a simple, innocent-looking person,
in whose smooth cheeks the cheerful red of her husband’s official
waistcoat was very pleasantly repeated. But whereas Mr. William’s
light hair stood on end all over his head, and seemed to draw his eyes
up with it in an excess of bustling readiness for anything, the dark
brown hair of Mrs. William was carefully smoothed down, and waved away
under a trim tidy cap, in the most exact and quiet manner imaginable.
Whereas Mr. William’s very trousers hitched themselves up at the
ankles, as if it were not in their iron-grey nature to rest without
looking about them, Mrs. William’s neatly-flowered skirts - red
and white, like her own pretty face - were as composed and orderly,
as if the very wind that blew so hard out of doors could not disturb
one of their folds. Whereas his coat had something of a fly-away
and half-off appearance about the collar and breast, her little bodice
was so placid and neat, that there should have been protection for her,
in it, had she needed any, with the roughest people. Who could
have had the heart to make so calm a bosom swell with grief, or throb
with fear, or flutter with a thought of shame! To whom would its
repose and peace have not appealed against disturbance, like the innocent
slumber of a child!
“Punctual, of course, Milly,” said her husband, relieving
her of the tray, “or it wouldn’t be you. Here’s
Mrs. William, sir! - He looks lonelier than ever to-night,” whispering
to his wife, as he was taking the tray, “and ghostlier altogether.”
Without any show of hurry or noise, or any show of herself even, she
was so calm and quiet, Milly set the dishes she had brought upon the
table, - Mr. William, after much clattering and running about, having
only gained possession of a butter-boat of gravy, which he stood ready
to serve.
“What is that the old man has in his arms?” asked Mr. Redlaw,
as he sat down to his solitary meal.
“Holly, sir,” replied the quiet voice of Milly.
“That’s what I say myself, sir,” interposed Mr. William,
striking in with the butter-boat. “Berries is so seasonable
to the time of year! - Brown gravy!”
“Another Christmas come, another year gone!” murmured the
Chemist, with a gloomy sigh. “More figures in the lengthening
sum of recollection that we work and work at to our torment, till Death
idly jumbles all together, and rubs all out. So, Philip!”
breaking off, and raising his voice as he addressed the old man, standing
apart, with his glistening burden in his arms, from which the quiet
Mrs. William took small branches, which she noiselessly trimmed with
her scissors, and decorated the room with, while her aged father-in-law
looked on much interested in the ceremony.
“My duty to you, sir,” returned the old man. “Should
have spoke before, sir, but know your ways, Mr. Redlaw - proud to say
- and wait till spoke to! Merry Christmas, sir, and Happy New
Year, and many of ’em. Have had a pretty many of ’em
myself - ha, ha! - and may take the liberty of wishing ’em.
I’m eighty-seven!”
“Have you had so many that were merry and happy?” asked
the other.
“Ay, sir, ever so many,” returned the old man.
“Is his memory impaired with age? It is to be expected now,”
said Mr. Redlaw, turning to the son, and speaking lower.
“Not a morsel of it, sir,” replied Mr. William. “That’s
exactly what I say myself, sir. There never was such a memory
as my father’s. He’s the most wonderful man in the
world. He don’t know what forgetting means. It’s
the very observation I’m always making to Mrs. William, sir, if
you’ll believe me!”
Mr. Swidger, in his polite desire to seem to acquiesce at all events,
delivered this as if there were no iota of contradiction in it, and
it were all said in unbounded and unqualified assent.
The Chemist pushed his plate away, and, rising from the table, walked
across the room to where the old man stood looking at a little sprig
of holly in his hand.
“It recalls the time when many of those years were old and new,
then?” he said, observing him attentively, and touching him on
the shoulder. “Does it?”
“Oh many, many!” said Philip, half awaking from his reverie.
“I’m eighty-seven!”
“Merry and happy, was it?” asked the Chemist in a low voice.
“Merry and happy, old man?”
“Maybe as high as that, no higher,” said the old man, holding
out his hand a little way above the level of his knee, and looking retrospectively
at his questioner, “when I first remember ’em! Cold,
sunshiny day it was, out a-walking, when some one - it was my mother
as sure as you stand there, though I don’t know what her blessed
face was like, for she took ill and died that Christmas-time - told
me they were food for birds. The pretty little fellow thought
- that’s me, you understand - that birds’ eyes were so bright,
perhaps, because the berries that they lived on in the winter were so
bright. I recollect that. And I’m eighty-seven!”
“Merry and happy!” mused the other, bending his dark eyes
upon the stooping figure, with a smile of compassion. “Merry
and happy - and remember well?”
“Ay, ay, ay!” resumed the old man, catching the last words.
“I remember ’em well in my school time, year after year,
and all the merry-making that used to come along with them. I
was a strong chap then, Mr. Redlaw; and, if you’ll believe me,
hadn’t my match at football within ten mile. Where’s
my son William? Hadn’t my match at football, William, within
ten mile!”
“That’s what I always say, father!” returned the son
promptly, and with great respect. “You ARE a Swidger, if
ever there was one of the family!”
“Dear!” said the old man, shaking his head as he again looked
at the holly. “His mother - my son William’s my youngest
son - and I, have sat among ’em all, boys and girls, little children
and babies, many a year, when the berries like these were not shining
half so bright all round us, as their bright faces. Many of ’em
are gone; she’s gone; and my son George (our eldest, who was her
pride more than all the rest!) is fallen very low: but I can see them,
when I look here, alive and healthy, as they used to be in those days;
and I can see him, thank God, in his innocence. It’s a blessed
thing to me, at eighty-seven.”
The keen look that had been fixed upon him with so much earnestness,
had gradually sought the ground.
“When my circumstances got to be not so good as formerly, through
not being honestly dealt by, and I first come here to be custodian,”
said the old man, “ - which was upwards of fifty years ago - where’s
my son William? More than half a century ago, William!”
“That’s what I say, father,” replied the son, as promptly
and dutifully as before, “that’s exactly where it is.
Two times ought’s an ought, and twice five ten, and there’s
a hundred of ’em.”
“It was quite a pleasure to know that one of our founders - or
more correctly speaking,” said the old man, with a great glory
in his subject and his knowledge of it, “one of the learned gentlemen
that helped endow us in Queen Elizabeth’s time, for we were founded
afore her day - left in his will, among the other bequests he made us,
so much to buy holly, for garnishing the walls and windows, come Christmas.
There was something homely and friendly in it. Being but strange
here, then, and coming at Christmas time, we took a liking for his very
picter that hangs in what used to be, anciently, afore our ten poor
gentlemen commuted for an annual stipend in money, our great Dinner
Hall. - A sedate gentleman in a peaked beard, with a ruff round his
neck, and a scroll below him, in old English letters, ‘Lord! keep
my memory green!’ You know all about him, Mr. Redlaw?”
“I know the portrait hangs there, Philip.”
“Yes, sure, it’s the second on the right, above the panelling.
I was going to say - he has helped to keep my memory green, I
thank him; for going round the building every year, as I’m a doing
now, and freshening up the bare rooms with these branches and berries,
freshens up my bare old brain. One year brings back another, and
that year another, and those others numbers! At last, it seems
to me as if the birth-time of our Lord was the birth-time of all I have
ever had affection for, or mourned for, or delighted in, - and they’re
a pretty many, for I’m eighty-seven!”
“Merry and happy,” murmured Redlaw to himself.
The room began to darken strangely.
“So you see, sir,” pursued old Philip, whose hale wintry
cheek had warmed into a ruddier glow, and whose blue eyes had brightened
while he spoke, “I have plenty to keep, when I keep this present
season. Now, where’s my quiet Mouse? Chattering’s
the sin of my time of life, and there’s half the building to do
yet, if the cold don’t freeze us first, or the wind don’t
blow us away, or the darkness don’t swallow us up.”
The quiet Mouse had brought her calm face to his side, and silently
taken his arm, before he finished speaking.
“Come away, my dear,” said the old man. “Mr.
Redlaw won’t settle to his dinner, otherwise, till it’s
cold as the winter. I hope you’ll excuse me rambling on,
sir, and I wish you good night, and, once again, a merry - ”
“Stay!” said Mr. Redlaw, resuming his place at the table,
more, it would have seemed from his manner, to reassure the old keeper,
than in any remembrance of his own appetite. “Spare me another
moment, Philip. William, you were going to tell me something to
your excellent wife’s honour. It will not be disagreeable
to her to hear you praise her. What was it?”
“Why, that’s where it is, you see, sir,” returned
Mr. William Swidger, looking towards his wife in considerable embarrassment.
“Mrs. William’s got her eye upon me.”
“But you’re not afraid of Mrs. William’s eye?”
“Why, no, sir,” returned Mr. Swidger, “that’s
what I say myself. It wasn’t made to be afraid of.
It wouldn’t have been made so mild, if that was the intention.
But I wouldn’t like to - Milly! - him, you know. Down in
the Buildings.”
Mr. William, standing behind the table, and rummaging disconcertedly
among the objects upon it, directed persuasive glances at Mrs. William,
and secret jerks of his head and thumb at Mr. Redlaw, as alluring her
towards him.
“Him, you know, my love,” said Mr. William. “Down
in the Buildings. Tell, my dear! You’re the works
of Shakespeare in comparison with myself. Down in the Buildings,
you know, my love. - Student.”
“Student?” repeated Mr. Redlaw, raising his head.
“That’s what I say, sir!” cried Mr. William, in the
utmost animation of assent. “If it wasn’t the poor
student down in the Buildings, why should you wish to hear it from Mrs.
William’s lips? Mrs. William, my dear - Buildings.”
“I didn’t know,” said Milly, with a quiet frankness,
free from any haste or confusion, “that William had said anything
about it, or I wouldn’t have come. I asked him not to.
It’s a sick young gentleman, sir - and very poor, I am afraid
- who is too ill to go home this holiday-time, and lives, unknown to
any one, in but a common kind of lodging for a gentleman, down in Jerusalem
Buildings. That’s all, sir.”
“Why have I never heard of him?” said the Chemist, rising
hurriedly. “Why has he not made his situation known to me?
Sick! - give me my hat and cloak. Poor! - what house? - what number?”
“Oh, you mustn’t go there, sir,” said Milly, leaving
her father-in-law, and calmly confronting him with her collected little
face and folded hands.
“Not go there?”
“Oh dear, no!” said Milly, shaking her head as at a most
manifest and self-evident impossibility. “It couldn’t
be thought of!”
“What do you mean? Why not?”
“Why, you see, sir,” said Mr. William Swidger, persuasively
and confidentially, “that’s what I say. Depend upon
it, the young gentleman would never have made his situation known to
one of his own sex. Mrs. Williams has got into his confidence,
but that’s quite different. They all confide in Mrs. William;
they all trust her. A man, sir, couldn’t have got
a whisper out of him; but woman, sir, and Mrs. William combined - !”
“There is good sense and delicacy in what you say, William,”
returned Mr. Redlaw, observant of the gentle and composed face at his
shoulder. And laying his finger on his lip, he secretly put his
purse into her hand.
“Oh dear no, sir!” cried Milly, giving it back again.
“Worse and worse! Couldn’t be dreamed of!”
Such a staid matter-of-fact housewife she was, and so unruffled by the
momentary haste of this rejection, that, an instant afterwards, she
was tidily picking up a few leaves which had strayed from between her
scissors and her apron, when she had arranged the holly.
Finding, when she rose from her stooping posture, that Mr. Redlaw was
still regarding her with doubt and astonishment, she quietly repeated
- looking about, the while, for any other fragments that might have
escaped her observation:
“Oh dear no, sir! He said that of all the world he would
not be known to you, or receive help from you - though he is a student
in your class. I have made no terms of secrecy with you, but I
trust to your honour completely.”
“Why did he say so?”
“Indeed I can’t tell, sir,” said Milly, after thinking
a little, “because I am not at all clever, you know; and I wanted
to be useful to him in making things neat and comfortable about him,
and employed myself that way. But I know he is poor, and lonely,
and I think he is somehow neglected too. - How dark it is!”
The room had darkened more and more. There was a very heavy gloom
and shadow gathering behind the Chemist’s chair.
“What more about him?” he asked.
“He is engaged to be married when he can afford it,” said
Milly, “and is studying, I think, to qualify himself to earn a
living. I have seen, a long time, that he has studied hard and
denied himself much. - How very dark it is!”
“It’s turned colder, too,” said the old man, rubbing
his hands. “There’s a chill and dismal feeling in
the room. Where’s my son William? William, my boy,
turn the lamp, and rouse the fire!”
Milly’s voice resumed, like quiet music very softly played:
“He muttered in his broken sleep yesterday afternoon, after talking
to me” (this was to herself) “about some one dead, and some
great wrong done that could never be forgotten; but whether to him or
to another person, I don’t know. Not by him, I am
sure.”
“And, in short, Mrs. William, you see - which she wouldn’t
say herself, Mr. Redlaw, if she was to stop here till the new year after
this next one - ” said Mr. William, coming up to him to speak
in his ear, “has done him worlds of good! Bless you, worlds
of good! All at home just the same as ever - my father made as
snug and comfortable - not a crumb of litter to be found in the house,
if you were to offer fifty pound ready money for it - Mrs. William apparently
never out of the way - yet Mrs. William backwards and forwards, backwards
and forwards, up and down, up and down, a mother to him!”
The room turned darker and colder, and the gloom and shadow gathering
behind the chair was heavier.
“Not content with this, sir, Mrs. William goes and finds, this
very night, when she was coming home (why it’s not above a couple
of hours ago), a creature more like a young wild beast than a young
child, shivering upon a door-step. What does Mrs. William do,
but brings it home to dry it, and feed it, and keep it till our old
Bounty of food and flannel is given away, on Christmas morning!
If it ever felt a fire before, it’s as much as ever it did; for
it’s sitting in the old Lodge chimney, staring at ours as if its
ravenous eyes would never shut again. It’s sitting there,
at least,” said Mr. William, correcting himself, on reflection,
“unless it’s bolted!”
“Heaven keep her happy!” said the Chemist aloud, “and
you too, Philip! and you, William! I must consider what to do
in this. I may desire to see this student, I’ll not detain
you any longer now. Good-night!”
“I thank’ee, sir, I thank’ee!” said the old
man, “for Mouse, and for my son William, and for myself.
Where’s my son William? William, you take the lantern and
go on first, through them long dark passages, as you did last year and
the year afore. Ha ha! I remember - though I’m
eighty-seven! ‘Lord, keep my memory green!’
It’s a very good prayer, Mr. Redlaw, that of the learned gentleman
in the peaked beard, with a ruff round his neck - hangs up, second on
the right above the panelling, in what used to be, afore our ten poor
gentlemen commuted, our great Dinner Hall. ‘Lord, keep my
memory green!’ It’s very good and pious, sir.
Amen! Amen!”
As they passed out and shut the heavy door, which, however carefully
withheld, fired a long train of thundering reverberations when it shut
at last, the room turned darker.
As he fell a musing in his chair alone, the healthy holly withered on
the wall, and dropped - dead branches.
As the gloom and shadow thickened behind him, in that place where it
had been gathering so darkly, it took, by slow degrees, - or out of
it there came, by some unreal, unsubstantial process - not to be traced
by any human sense, - an awful likeness of himself!
Ghastly and cold, colourless in its leaden face and hands, but with
his features, and his bright eyes, and his grizzled hair, and dressed
in the gloomy shadow of his dress, it came into his terrible appearance
of existence, motionless, without a sound. As he leaned
his arm upon the elbow of his chair, ruminating before the fire, it
leaned upon the chair-back, close above him, with its appalling copy
of his face looking where his face looked, and bearing the expression
his face bore.
This, then, was the Something that had passed and gone already.
This was the dread companion of the haunted man!
It took, for some moments, no more apparent heed of him, than he of
it. The Christmas Waits were playing somewhere in the distance,
and, through his thoughtfulness, he seemed to listen to the music.
It seemed to listen too.
At length he spoke; without moving or lifting up his face.
“Here again!” he said.
“Here again,” replied the Phantom.
“I see you in the fire,” said the haunted man; “I
hear you in music, in the wind, in the dead stillness of the night.”
The Phantom moved its head, assenting.
“Why do you come, to haunt me thus?”
“I come as I am called,” replied the Ghost.
“No. Unbidden,” exclaimed the Chemist.
“Unbidden be it,” said the Spectre. “It is enough.
I am here.”
Hitherto the light of the fire had shone on the two faces - if the dread
lineaments behind the chair might be called a face - both addressed
towards it, as at first, and neither looking at the other. But,
now, the haunted man turned, suddenly, and stared upon the Ghost.
The Ghost, as sudden in its motion, passed to before the chair, and
stared on him.
The living man, and the animated image of himself dead, might so have
looked, the one upon the other. An awful survey, in a lonely and
remote part of an empty old pile of building, on a winter night, with
the loud wind going by upon its journey of mystery - whence or whither,
no man knowing since the world began - and the stars, in unimaginable
millions, glittering through it, from eternal space, where the world’s
bulk is as a grain, and its hoary age is infancy.
“Look upon me!” said the Spectre. “I am he,
neglected in my youth, and miserably poor, who strove and suffered,
and still strove and suffered, until I hewed out knowledge from the
mine where it was buried, and made rugged steps thereof, for my worn
feet to rest and rise on.”
“I am that man,” returned the Chemist.
“No mother’s self-denying love,” pursued the Phantom,
“no father’s counsel, aided me. A stranger
came into my father’s place when I was but a child, and I was
easily an alien from my mother’s heart. My parents, at the
best, were of that sort whose care soon ends, and whose duty is soon
done; who cast their offspring loose, early, as birds do theirs; and,
if they do well, claim the merit; and, if ill, the pity.”
It paused, and seemed to tempt and goad him with its look, and with
the manner of its speech, and with its smile.
“I am he,” pursued the Phantom, “who, in this struggle
upward, found a friend. I made him - won him - bound him to me!
We worked together, side by side. All the love and confidence
that in my earlier youth had had no outlet, and found no expression,
I bestowed on him.”
“Not all,” said Redlaw, hoarsely.
“No, not all,” returned the Phantom. “I had
a sister.”
The haunted man, with his head resting on his hands, replied “I
had!” The Phantom, with an evil smile, drew closer to the
chair, and resting its chin upon its folded hands, its folded hands
upon the back, and looking down into his face with searching eyes, that
seemed instinct with fire, went on:
“Such glimpses of the light of home as I had ever known, had streamed
from her. How young she was, how fair, how loving! I took
her to the first poor roof that I was master of, and made it rich.
She came into the darkness of my life, and made it bright. - She is
before me!”
“I saw her, in the fire, but now. I hear her in music, in
the wind, in the dead stillness of the night,” returned the haunted
man.
“Did he love her?” said the Phantom, echoing his
contemplative tone. “I think he did, once. I am sure
he did. Better had she loved him less - less secretly, less dearly,
from the shallower depths of a more divided heart!”
“Let me forget it!” said the Chemist, with an angry motion
of his hand. “Let me blot it from my memory!”
The Spectre, without stirring, and with its unwinking, cruel eyes still
fixed upon his face, went on:
“A dream, like hers, stole upon my own life.”
“It did,” said Redlaw.
“A love, as like hers,” pursued the Phantom, “as my
inferior nature might cherish, arose in my own heart. I was too
poor to bind its object to my fortune then, by any thread of promise
or entreaty. I loved her far too well, to seek to do it.
But, more than ever I had striven in my life, I strove to climb!
Only an inch gained, brought me something nearer to the height.
I toiled up! In the late pauses of my labour at that time, - my
sister (sweet companion!) still sharing with me the expiring embers
and the cooling hearth, - when day was breaking, what pictures of the
future did I see!”
“I saw them, in the fire, but now,” he murmured. “They
come back to me in music, in the wind, in the dead stillness of the
night, in the revolving years.”
“ - Pictures of my own domestic life, in aftertime, with her who
was the inspiration of my toil. Pictures of my sister, made the
wife of my dear friend, on equal terms - for he had some inheritance,
we none - pictures of our sobered age and mellowed happiness, and of
the golden links, extending back so far, that should bind us, and our
children, in a radiant garland,” said the Phantom.
“Pictures,” said the haunted man, “that were delusions.
Why is it my doom to remember them too well!”
“Delusions,” echoed the Phantom in its changeless voice,
and glaring on him with its changeless eyes. “For my friend
(in whose breast my confidence was locked as in my own), passing between
me and the centre of the system of my hopes and struggles, won her to
himself, and shattered my frail universe. My sister, doubly dear,
doubly devoted, doubly cheerful in my home, lived on to see me famous,
and my old ambition so rewarded when its spring was broken, and then
- ”
“Then died,” he interposed. “Died, gentle as
ever; happy; and with no concern but for her brother. Peace!”
The Phantom watched him silently.
“Remembered!” said the haunted man, after a pause.
“Yes. So well remembered, that even now, when years have
passed, and nothing is more idle or more visionary to me than the boyish
love so long outlived, I think of it with sympathy, as if it were a
younger brother’s or a son’s. Sometimes I even wonder
when her heart first inclined to him, and how it had been affected towards
me. - Not lightly, once, I think. - But that is nothing. Early
unhappiness, a wound from a hand I loved and trusted, and a loss that
nothing can replace, outlive such fancies.”
“Thus,” said the Phantom, “I bear within me a Sorrow
and a Wrong. Thus I prey upon myself. Thus, memory is my
curse; and, if I could forget my sorrow and my wrong, I would!”
“Mocker!” said the Chemist, leaping up, and making, with
a wrathful hand, at the throat of his other self. “Why have
I always that taunt in my ears?”
“Forbear!” exclaimed the Spectre in an awful voice.
“Lay a hand on Me, and die!”
He stopped midway, as if its words had paralysed him, and stood looking
on it. It had glided from him; it had its arm raised high in warning;
and a smile passed over its unearthly features, as it reared its dark
figure in triumph.
“If I could forget my sorrow and wrong, I would,” the Ghost
repeated. “If I could forget my sorrow and my wrong, I would!”
“Evil spirit of myself,” returned the haunted man, in a
low, trembling tone, “my life is darkened by that incessant whisper.”
“It is an echo,” said the Phantom.
“If it be an echo of my thoughts - as now, indeed, I know it is,”
rejoined the haunted man, “why should I, therefore, be tormented?
It is not a selfish thought. I suffer it to range beyond myself.
All men and women have their sorrows, - most of them their wrongs; ingratitude,
and sordid jealousy, and interest, besetting all degrees of life.
Who would not forget their sorrows and their wrongs?”
“Who would not, truly, and be happier and better for it?”
said the Phantom.
“These revolutions of years, which we commemorate,” proceeded
Redlaw, “what do they recall! Are there any minds
in which they do not re-awaken some sorrow, or some trouble? What
is the remembrance of the old man who was here to-night? A tissue
of sorrow and trouble.”
“But common natures,” said the Phantom, with its evil smile
upon its glassy face, “unenlightened minds and ordinary spirits,
do not feel or reason on these things like men of higher cultivation
and profounder thought.”
“Tempter,” answered Redlaw, “whose hollow look and
voice I dread more than words can express, and from whom some dim foreshadowing
of greater fear is stealing over me while I speak, I hear again an echo
of my own mind.”
“Receive it as a proof that I am powerful,” returned the
Ghost. “Hear what I offer! Forget the sorrow, wrong,
and trouble you have known!”
“Forget them!” he repeated.
“I have the power to cancel their remembrance - to leave but very
faint, confused traces of them, that will die out soon,” returned
the Spectre. “Say! Is it done?”
“Stay!” cried the haunted man, arresting by a terrified
gesture the uplifted hand. “I tremble with distrust and
doubt of you; and the dim fear you cast upon me deepens into a nameless
horror I can hardly bear. - I would not deprive myself of any kindly
recollection, or any sympathy that is good for me, or others.
What shall I lose, if I assent to this? What else will pass from
my remembrance?”
“No knowledge; no result of study; nothing but the intertwisted
chain of feelings and associations, each in its turn dependent on, and
nourished by, the banished recollections. Those will go.”
“Are they so many?” said the haunted man, reflecting in
alarm.
“They have been wont to show themselves in the fire, in music,
in the wind, in the dead stillness of the night, in the revolving years,”
returned the Phantom scornfully.
“In nothing else?”
The Phantom held its peace.
But having stood before him, silent, for a little while, it moved towards
the fire; then stopped.
“Decide!” it said, “before the opportunity is lost!”
“A moment! I call Heaven to witness,” said the agitated
man, “that I have never been a hater of any kind, - never morose,
indifferent, or hard, to anything around me. If, living here alone,
I have made too much of all that was and might have been, and too little
of what is, the evil, I believe, has fallen on me, and not on others.
But, if there were poison in my body, should I not, possessed of antidotes
and knowledge how to use them, use them? If there be poison in
my mind, and through this fearful shadow I can cast it out, shall I
not cast it out?”
“Say,” said the Spectre, “is it done?”
“A moment longer!” he answered hurriedly. “I
would forget it if I could! Have I thought that, alone,
or has it been the thought of thousands upon thousands, generation after
generation? All human memory is fraught with sorrow and trouble.
My memory is as the memory of other men, but other men have not this
choice. Yes, I close the bargain. Yes! I WILL forget
my sorrow, wrong, and trouble!”
“Say,” said the Spectre, “is it done?”
“It is!”
“IT IS. And take this with you, man whom I here renounce!
The gift that I have given, you shall give again, go where you will.
Without recovering yourself the power that you have yielded up, you
shall henceforth destroy its like in all whom you approach. Your
wisdom has discovered that the memory of sorrow, wrong, and trouble
is the lot of all mankind, and that mankind would be the happier, in
its other memories, without it. Go! Be its benefactor!
Freed from such remembrance, from this hour, carry involuntarily the
blessing of such freedom with you. Its diffusion is inseparable
and inalienable from you. Go! Be happy in the good you have
won, and in the good you do!”
The Phantom, which had held its bloodless hand above him while it spoke,
as if in some unholy invocation, or some ban; and which had gradually
advanced its eyes so close to his, that he could see how they did not
participate in the terrible smile upon its face, but were a fixed, unalterable,
steady horror melted before him and was gone.
As he stood rooted to the spot, possessed by fear and wonder, and imagining
he heard repeated in melancholy echoes, dying away fainter and fainter,
the words, “Destroy its like in all whom you approach!”
a shrill cry reached his ears. It came, not from the passages
beyond the door, but from another part of the old building, and sounded
like the cry of some one in the dark who had lost the way.
He looked confusedly upon his hands and limbs, as if to be assured of
his identity, and then shouted in reply, loudly and wildly; for there
was a strangeness and terror upon him, as if he too were lost.
The cry responding, and being nearer, he caught up the lamp, and raised
a heavy curtain in the wall, by which he was accustomed to pass into
and out of the theatre where he lectured, - which adjoined his room.
Associated with youth and animation, and a high amphitheatre of faces
which his entrance charmed to interest in a moment, it was a ghostly
place when all this life was faded out of it, and stared upon him like
an emblem of Death.
“Halloa!” he cried. “Halloa! This way!
Come to the light!” When, as he held the curtain with one
hand, and with the other raised the lamp and tried to pierce the gloom
that filled the place, something rushed past him into the room like
a wild-cat, and crouched down in a corner.
“What is it?” he said, hastily.
He might have asked “What is it?” even had he seen it well,
as presently he did when he stood looking at it gathered up in its corner.
A bundle of tatters, held together by a hand, in size and form almost
an infant’s, but in its greedy, desperate little clutch, a bad
old man’s. A face rounded and smoothed by some half-dozen
years, but pinched and twisted by the experiences of a life. Bright
eyes, but not youthful. Naked feet, beautiful in their childish
delicacy, - ugly in the blood and dirt that cracked upon them.
A baby savage, a young monster, a child who had never been a child,
a creature who might live to take the outward form of man, but who,
within, would live and perish a mere beast.
Used, already, to be worried and hunted like a beast, the boy crouched
down as he was looked at, and looked back again, and interposed his
arm to ward off the expected blow.
“I’ll bite,” he said, “if you hit me!”
The time had been, and not many minutes since, when such a sight as
this would have wrung the Chemist’s heart. He looked upon
it now, coldly; but with a heavy effort to remember something - he did
not know what - he asked the boy what he did there, and whence he came.
“Where’s the woman?” he replied. “I want
to find the woman.”
“Who?”
“The woman. Her that brought me here, and set me by the
large fire. She was so long gone, that I went to look for her,
and lost myself. I don’t want you. I want the woman.”
He made a spring, so suddenly, to get away, that the dull sound of his
naked feet upon the floor was near the curtain, when Redlaw caught him
by his rags.
“Come! you let me go!” muttered the boy, struggling, and
clenching his teeth. “I’ve done nothing to you.
Let me go, will you, to the woman!”
“That is not the way. There is a nearer one,” said
Redlaw, detaining him, in the same blank effort to remember some association
that ought, of right, to bear upon this monstrous object. “What
is your name?”
“Got none.”
“Where do you live?
“Live! What’s that?”
The boy shook his hair from his eyes to look at him for a moment, and
then, twisting round his legs and wrestling with him, broke again into
his repetition of “You let me go, will you? I want to find
the woman.”
The Chemist led him to the door. “This way,” he said,
looking at him still confusedly, but with repugnance and avoidance,
growing out of his coldness. “I’ll take you to her.”
The sharp eyes in the child’s head, wandering round the room,
lighted on the table where the remnants of the dinner were.
“Give me some of that!” he said, covetously.
“Has she not fed you?”
“I shall be hungry again to-morrow, sha’n’t I?
Ain’t I hungry every day?”
Finding himself released, he bounded at the table like some small animal
of prey, and hugging to his breast bread and meat, and his own rags,
all together, said:
“There! Now take me to the woman!”
As the Chemist, with a new-born dislike to touch him, sternly motioned
him to follow, and was going out of the door, he trembled and stopped.
“The gift that I have given, you shall give again, go where you
will!”
The Phantom’s words were blowing in the wind, and the wind blew
chill upon him.
“I’ll not go there, to-night,” he murmured faintly.
“I’ll go nowhere to-night. Boy! straight down this
long-arched passage, and past the great dark door into the yard, - you
see the fire shining on the window there.”
“The woman’s fire?” inquired the boy.
He nodded, and the naked feet had sprung away. He came back with
his lamp, locked his door hastily, and sat down in his chair, covering
his face like one who was frightened at himself.
For now he was, indeed, alone. Alone, alone.
CHAPTER II - The Gift Diffused
A small man sat in a small parlour, partitioned off from a small shop
by a small screen, pasted all over with small scraps of newspapers.
In company with the small man, was almost any amount of small children
you may please to name - at least it seemed so; they made, in that very
limited sphere of action, such an imposing effect, in point of numbers.
Of these small fry, two had, by some strong machinery, been got into
bed in a corner, where they might have reposed snugly enough in the
sleep of innocence, but for a constitutional propensity to keep awake,
and also to scuffle in and out of bed. The immediate occasion
of these predatory dashes at the waking world, was the construction
of an oyster-shell wall in a corner, by two other youths of tender age;
on which fortification the two in bed made harassing descents (like
those accursed Picts and Scots who beleaguer the early historical studies
of most young Britons), and then withdrew to their own territory.
In addition to the stir attendant on these inroads, and the retorts
of the invaded, who pursued hotly, and made lunges at the bed-clothes
under which the marauders took refuge, another little boy, in another
little bed, contributed his mite of confusion to the family stock, by
casting his boots upon the waters; in other words, by launching these
and several small objects, inoffensive in themselves, though of a hard
substance considered as missiles, at the disturbers of his repose, -
who were not slow to return these compliments.
Besides which, another little boy - the biggest there, but still little
- was tottering to and fro, bent on one side, and considerably affected
in his knees by the weight of a large baby, which he was supposed by
a fiction that obtains sometimes in sanguine families, to be hushing
to sleep. But oh! the inexhaustible regions of contemplation and
watchfulness into which this baby’s eyes were then only beginning
to compose themselves to stare, over his unconscious shoulder!
It was a very Moloch of a baby, on whose insatiate altar the whole existence
of this particular young brother was offered up a daily sacrifice.
Its personality may be said to have consisted in its never being quiet,
in any one place, for five consecutive minutes, and never going to sleep
when required. “Tetterby’s baby” was as well
known in the neighbourhood as the postman or the pot-boy. It roved
from door-step to door-step, in the arms of little Johnny Tetterby,
and lagged heavily at the rear of troops of juveniles who followed the
Tumblers or the Monkey, and came up, all on one side, a little too late
for everything that was attractive, from Monday morning until Saturday
night. Wherever childhood congregated to play, there was little
Moloch making Johnny fag and toil. Wherever Johnny desired to
stay, little Moloch became fractious, and would not remain. Whenever
Johnny wanted to go out, Moloch was asleep, and must be watched.
Whenever Johnny wanted to stay at home, Moloch was awake, and must be
taken out. Yet Johnny was verily persuaded that it was a faultless
baby, without its peer in the realm of England, and was quite content
to catch meek glimpses of things in general from behind its skirts,
or over its limp flapping bonnet, and to go staggering about with it
like a very little porter with a very large parcel, which was not directed
to anybody, and could never be delivered anywhere.
The small man who sat in the small parlour, making fruitless attempts
to read his newspaper peaceably in the midst of this disturbance, was
the father of the family, and the chief of the firm described in the
inscription over the little shop front, by the name and title of A.
TETTERBY AND CO., NEWSMEN. Indeed, strictly speaking, he was the
only personage answering to that designation, as Co. was a mere poetical
abstraction, altogether baseless and impersonal.
Tetterby’s was the corner shop in Jerusalem Buildings. There
was a good show of literature in the window, chiefly consisting of picture-newspapers
out of date, and serial pirates, and footpads. Walking-sticks,
likewise, and marbles, were included in the stock in trade. It
had once extended into the light confectionery line; but it would seem
that those elegancies of life were not in demand about Jerusalem Buildings,
for nothing connected with that branch of commerce remained in the window,
except a sort of small glass lantern containing a languishing mass of
bull’s-eyes, which had melted in the summer and congealed in the
winter until all hope of ever getting them out, or of eating them without
eating the lantern too, was gone for ever. Tetterby’s had
tried its hand at several things. It had once made a feeble little
dart at the toy business; for, in another lantern, there was a heap
of minute wax dolls, all sticking together upside down, in the direst
confusion, with their feet on one another’s heads, and a precipitate
of broken arms and legs at the bottom. It had made a move in the
millinery direction, which a few dry, wiry bonnet-shapes remained in
a corner of the window to attest. It had fancied that a living
might lie hidden in the tobacco trade, and had stuck up a representation
of a native of each of the three integral portions of the British Empire,
in the act of consuming that fragrant weed; with a poetic legend attached,
importing that united in one cause they sat and joked, one chewed tobacco,
one took snuff, one smoked: but nothing seemed to have come of it -
except flies. Time had been when it had put a forlorn trust in
imitative jewellery, for in one pane of glass there was a card of cheap
seals, and another of pencil-cases, and a mysterious black amulet of
inscrutable intention, labelled ninepence. But, to that hour,
Jerusalem Buildings had bought none of them. In short, Tetterby’s
had tried so hard to get a livelihood out of Jerusalem Buildings in
one way or other, and appeared to have done so indifferently in all,
that the best position in the firm was too evidently Co.’s; Co.,
as a bodiless creation, being untroubled with the vulgar inconveniences
of hunger and thirst, being chargeable neither to the poor’s-rates
nor the assessed taxes, and having no young family to provide for.
Tetterby himself, however, in his little parlour, as already mentioned,
having the presence of a young family impressed upon his mind in a manner
too clamorous to be disregarded, or to comport with the quiet perusal
of a newspaper, laid down his paper, wheeled, in his distraction, a
few times round the parlour, like an undecided carrier-pigeon, made
an ineffectual rush at one or two flying little figures in bed-gowns
that skimmed past him, and then, bearing suddenly down upon the only
unoffending member of the family, boxed the ears of little Moloch’s
nurse.
“You bad boy!” said Mr. Tetterby, “haven’t you
any feeling for your poor father after the fatigues and anxieties of
a hard winter’s day, since five o’clock in the morning,
but must you wither his rest, and corrode his latest intelligence, with
your wicious tricks? Isn’t it enough, sir, that your
brother ’Dolphus is toiling and moiling in the fog and cold, and
you rolling in the lap of luxury with a - with a baby, and everything
you can wish for,” said Mr. Tetterby, heaping this up as a great
climax of blessings, “but must you make a wilderness of home,
and maniacs of your parents? Must you, Johnny? Hey?”
At each interrogation, Mr. Tetterby made a feint of boxing his ears
again, but thought better of it, and held his hand.
“Oh, father!” whimpered Johnny, “when I wasn’t
doing anything, I’m sure, but taking such care of Sally, and getting
her to sleep. Oh, father!”
“I wish my little woman would come home!” said Mr. Tetterby,
relenting and repenting, “I only wish my little woman would come
home! I ain’t fit to deal with ’em. They make
my head go round, and get the better of me. Oh, Johnny!
Isn’t it enough that your dear mother has provided you with that
sweet sister?” indicating Moloch; “isn’t it enough
that you were seven boys before without a ray of gal, and that your
dear mother went through what she did go through, on purpose
that you might all of you have a little sister, but must you so behave
yourself as to make my head swim?”
Softening more and more, as his own tender feelings and those of his
injured son were worked on, Mr. Tetterby concluded by embracing him,
and immediately breaking away to catch one of the real delinquents.
A reasonably good start occurring, he succeeded, after a short but smart
run, and some rather severe cross-country work under and over the bedsteads,
and in and out among the intricacies of the chairs, in capturing this
infant, whom he condignly punished, and bore to bed. This example
had a powerful, and apparently, mesmeric influence on him of the boots,
who instantly fell into a deep sleep, though he had been, but a moment
before, broad awake, and in the highest possible feather. Nor
was it lost upon the two young architects, who retired to bed, in an
adjoining closet, with great privacy and speed. The comrade of
the Intercepted One also shrinking into his nest with similar discretion,
Mr. Tetterby, when he paused for breath, found himself unexpectedly
in a scene of peace.
“My little woman herself,” said Mr. Tetterby, wiping his
flushed face, “could hardly have done it better! I only
wish my little woman had had it to do, I do indeed!”
Mr. Tetterby sought upon his screen for a passage appropriate to be
impressed upon his children’s minds on the occasion, and read
the following.
“‘It is an undoubted fact that all remarkable men have had
remarkable mothers, and have respected them in after life as their best
friends.’ Think of your own remarkable mother, my boys,”
said Mr. Tetterby, “and know her value while she is still among
you!”
He sat down again in his chair by the fire, and composed himself, cross-legged,
over his newspaper.
“Let anybody, I don’t care who it is, get out of bed again,”
said Tetterby, as a general proclamation, delivered in a very soft-hearted
manner, “and astonishment will be the portion of that respected
contemporary!” - which expression Mr. Tetterby selected from his
screen. “Johnny, my child, take care of your only sister,
Sally; for she’s the brightest gem that ever sparkled on your
early brow.”
Johnny sat down on a little stool, and devotedly crushed himself beneath
the weight of Moloch.
“Ah, what a gift that baby is to you, Johnny!” said his
father, “and how thankful you ought to be! ‘It is
not generally known, Johnny,’” he was now referring to the
screen again, “‘but it is a fact ascertained, by accurate
calculations, that the following immense percentage of babies never
attain to two years old; that is to say - ’”
“Oh, don’t, father, please!” cried Johnny. “I
can’t bear it, when I think of Sally.”
Mr. Tetterby desisting, Johnny, with a profound sense of his trust,
wiped his eyes, and hushed his sister.
“Your brother ’Dolphus,” said his father, poking the
fire, “is late to-night, Johnny, and will come home like a lump
of ice. What’s got your precious mother?”
“Here’s mother, and ’Dolphus too, father!” exclaimed
Johnny, “I think.”
“You’re right!” returned his father, listening.
“Yes, that’s the footstep of my little woman.”
The process of induction, by which Mr Tetterby had come to the conclusion
that his wife was a little woman, was his own secret. She would
have made two editions of himself, very easily. Considered as
an individual, she was rather remarkable for being robust and portly;
but considered with reference to her husband, her dimensions became
magnificent. Nor did they assume a less imposing proportion, when
studied with reference to the size of her seven sons, who were but diminutive.
In the case of Sally, however, Mrs. Tetterby had asserted herself, at
last; as nobody knew better than the victim Johnny, who weighed and
measured that exacting idol every hour in the day.
Mrs. Tetterby, who had been marketing, and carried a basket, threw back
her bonnet and shawl, and sitting down, fatigued, commanded Johnny to
bring his sweet charge to her straightway, for a kiss. Johnny
having complied, and gone back to his stool, and again crushed himself,
Master Adolphus Tetterby, who had by this time unwound his torso out
of a prismatic comforter, apparently interminable, requested the same
favour. Johnny having again complied, and again gone back to his
stool, and again crushed himself, Mr. Tetterby, struck by a sudden thought,
preferred the same claim on his own parental part. The satisfaction
of this third desire completely exhausted the sacrifice, who had hardly
breath enough left to get back to his stool, crush himself again, and
pant at his relations.
“Whatever you do, Johnny,” said Mrs. Tetterby, shaking her
head, “take care of her, or never look your mother in the face
again.”
“Nor your brother,” said Adolphus.
“Nor your father, Johnny,” added Mr. Tetterby.
Johnny, much affected by this conditional renunciation of him, looked
down at Moloch’s eyes to see that they were all right, so far,
and skilfully patted her back (which was uppermost), and rocked her
with his foot.
“Are you wet, ’Dolphus, my boy?” said his father.
“Come and take my chair, and dry yourself.”
“No, father, thank’ee,” said Adolphus, smoothing himself
down with his hands. “I an’t very wet, I don’t
think. Does my face shine much, father?”
“Well, it does look waxy, my boy,” returned Mr. Tetterby.
“It’s the weather, father,” said Adolphus, polishing
his cheeks on the worn sleeve of his jacket. “What with
rain, and sleet, and wind, and snow, and fog, my face gets quite brought
out into a rash sometimes. And shines, it does - oh, don’t
it, though!”
Master Adolphus was also in the newspaper line of life, being employed,
by a more thriving firm than his father and Co., to vend newspapers
at a railway station, where his chubby little person, like a shabbily-disguised
Cupid, and his shrill little voice (he was not much more than ten years
old), were as well known as the hoarse panting of the locomotives, running
in and out. His juvenility might have been at some loss for a
harmless outlet, in this early application to traffic, but for a fortunate
discovery he made of a means of entertaining himself, and of dividing
the long day into stages of interest, without neglecting business.
This ingenious invention, remarkable, like many great discoveries, for
its simplicity, consisted in varying the first vowel in the word “paper,”
and substituting, in its stead, at different periods of the day, all
the other vowels in grammatical succession. Thus, before daylight
in the winter-time, he went to and fro, in his little oilskin cap and
cape, and his big comforter, piercing the heavy air with his cry of
“Morn-ing Pa-per!” which, about an hour before noon, changed
to “Morn-ing Pepper!” which, at about two, changed to “Morn-ing
Pip-per!” which in a couple of hours changed to “Morn-ing
Pop-per!” and so declined with the sun into “Eve-ning Pup-per!”
to the great relief and comfort of this young gentleman’s spirits.
Mrs. Tetterby, his lady-mother, who had been sitting with her bonnet
and shawl thrown back, as aforesaid, thoughtfully turning her wedding-ring
round and round upon her finger, now rose, and divesting herself of
her out-of-door attire, began to lay the cloth for supper.
“Ah, dear me, dear me, dear me!” said Mrs. Tetterby.
“That’s the way the world goes!”
“Which is the way the world goes, my dear?” asked Mr. Tetterby,
looking round.
“Oh, nothing,” said Mrs. Tetterby.
Mr. Tetterby elevated his eyebrows, folded his newspaper afresh, and
carried his eyes up it, and down it, and across it, but was wandering
in his attention, and not reading it.
Mrs. Tetterby, at the same time, laid the cloth, but rather as if she
were punishing the table than preparing the family supper; hitting it
unnecessarily hard with the knives and forks, slapping it with the plates,
dinting it with the salt-cellar, and coming heavily down upon it with
the loaf.
“Ah, dear me, dear me, dear me!” said Mrs. Tetterby.
“That’s the way the world goes!”
“My duck,” returned her husband, looking round again, “you
said that before. Which is the way the world goes?”
“Oh, nothing!” said Mrs. Tetterby.
“Sophia!” remonstrated her husband, “you said that
before, too.”
“Well, I’ll say it again if you like,” returned Mrs.
Tetterby. “Oh nothing - there! And again if you like,
oh nothing - there! And again if you like, oh nothing - now then!”
Mr. Tetterby brought his eye to bear upon the partner of his bosom,
and said, in mild astonishment:
“My little woman, what has put you out?”
“I’m sure I don’t know,” she retorted.
“Don’t ask me. Who said I was put out at all?
I never did.”
Mr. Tetterby gave up the perusal of his newspaper as a bad job, and,
taking a slow walk across the room, with his hands behind him, and his
shoulders raised - his gait according perfectly with the resignation
of his manner - addressed himself to his two eldest offspring.
“Your supper will be ready in a minute, ’Dolphus,”
said Mr. Tetterby. “Your mother has been out in the wet,
to the cook’s shop, to buy it. It was very good of your
mother so to do. You shall get some supper too, very soon,
Johnny. Your mother’s pleased with you, my man, for being
so attentive to your precious sister.”
Mrs. Tetterby, without any remark, but with a decided subsidence of
her animosity towards the table, finished her preparations, and took,
from her ample basket, a substantial slab of hot pease pudding wrapped
in paper, and a basin covered with a saucer, which, on being uncovered,
sent forth an odour so agreeable, that the three pair of eyes in the
two beds opened wide and fixed themselves upon the banquet. Mr.
Tetterby, without regarding this tacit invitation to be seated, stood
repeating slowly, “Yes, yes, your supper will be ready in a minute,
’Dolphus - your mother went out in the wet, to the cook’s
shop, to buy it. It was very good of your mother so to do”
- until Mrs. Tetterby, who had been exhibiting sundry tokens of contrition
behind him, caught him round the neck, and wept.
“Oh, Dolphus!” said Mrs. Tetterby, “how could I go
and behave so?”
This reconciliation affected Adolphus the younger and Johnny to that
degree, that they both, as with one accord, raised a dismal cry, which
had the effect of immediately shutting up the round eyes in the beds,
and utterly routing the two remaining little Tetterbys, just then stealing
in from the adjoining closet to see what was going on in the eating
way.
“I am sure, ’Dolphus,” sobbed Mrs. Tetterby, “coming
home, I had no more idea than a child unborn - ”
Mr. Tetterby seemed to dislike this figure of speech, and observed,
“Say than the baby, my dear.”
“ - Had no more idea than the baby,” said Mrs. Tetterby.
- “Johnny, don’t look at me, but look at her, or she’ll
fall out of your lap and be killed, and then you’ll die in agonies
of a broken heart, and serve you right. - No more idea I hadn’t
than that darling, of being cross when I came home; but somehow, ’Dolphus
- ” Mrs. Tetterby paused, and again turned her wedding-ring
round and round upon her finger.
“I see!” said Mr. Tetterby. “I understand!
My little woman was put out. Hard times, and hard weather, and
hard work, make it trying now and then. I see, bless your soul!
No wonder! Dolf, my man,” continued Mr. Tetterby, exploring
the basin with a fork, “here’s your mother been and bought,
at the cook’s shop, besides pease pudding, a whole knuckle of
a lovely roast leg of pork, with lots of crackling left upon it, and
with seasoning gravy and mustard quite unlimited. Hand in your
plate, my boy, and begin while it’s simmering.”
Master Adolphus, needing no second summons, received his portion with
eyes rendered moist by appetite, and withdrawing to his particular stool,
fell upon his supper tooth and nail. Johnny was not forgotten,
but received his rations on bread, lest he should, in a flush of gravy,
trickle any on the baby. He was required, for similar reasons,
to keep his pudding, when not on active service, in his pocket.
There might have been more pork on the knucklebone, - which knucklebone
the carver at the cook’s shop had assuredly not forgotten in carving
for previous customers - but there was no stint of seasoning, and that
is an accessory dreamily suggesting pork, and pleasantly cheating the
sense of taste. The pease pudding, too, the gravy and mustard,
like the Eastern rose in respect of the nightingale, if they were not
absolutely pork, had lived near it; so, upon the whole, there was the
flavour of a middle-sized pig. It was irresistible to the Tetterbys
in bed, who, though professing to slumber peacefully, crawled out when
unseen by their parents, and silently appealed to their brothers for
any gastronomic token of fraternal affection. They, not hard of
heart, presenting scraps in return, it resulted that a party of light
skirmishers in nightgowns were careering about the parlour all through
supper, which harassed Mr. Tetterby exceedingly, and once or twice imposed
upon him the necessity of a charge, before which these guerilla troops
retired in all directions and in great confusion.
Mrs. Tetterby did not enjoy her supper. There seemed to be something
on Mrs. Tetterby’s mind. At one time she laughed without
reason, and at another time she cried without reason, and at last she
laughed and cried together in a manner so very unreasonable that her
husband was confounded.
“My little woman,” said Mr. Tetterby, “if the world
goes that way, it appears to go the wrong way, and to choke you.”
“Give me a drop of water,” said Mrs. Tetterby, struggling
with herself, “and don’t speak to me for the present, or
take any notice of me. Don’t do it!”
Mr. Tetterby having administered the water, turned suddenly on the unlucky
Johnny (who was full of sympathy), and demanded why he was wallowing
there, in gluttony and idleness, instead of coming forward with the
baby, that the sight of her might revive his mother. Johnny immediately
approached, borne down by its weight; but Mrs. Tetterby holding out
her hand to signify that she was not in a condition to bear that trying
appeal to her feelings, he was interdicted from advancing another inch,
on pain of perpetual hatred from all his dearest connections; and accordingly
retired to his stool again, and crushed himself as before.
After a pause, Mrs. Tetterby said she was better now, and began to laugh.
“My little woman,” said her husband, dubiously, “are
you quite sure you’re better? Or are you, Sophia, about
to break out in a fresh direction?”
“No, ’Dolphus, no,” replied his wife. “I’m
quite myself.” With that, settling her hair, and pressing
the palms of her hands upon her eyes, she laughed again.
“What a wicked fool I was, to think so for a moment!” said
Mrs. Tetterby. “Come nearer, ’Dolphus, and let me
ease my mind, and tell you what I mean. Let me tell you all about
it.”
Mr. Tetterby bringing his chair closer, Mrs. Tetterby laughed again,
gave him a hug, and wiped her eyes.
“You know, Dolphus, my dear,” said Mrs. Tetterby, “that
when I was single, I might have given myself away in several directions.
At one time, four after me at once; two of them were sons of Mars.”
“We’re all sons of Ma’s, my dear,” said Mr.
Tetterby, “jointly with Pa’s.”
“I don’t mean that,” replied his wife, “I mean
soldiers - serjeants.”
“Oh!” said Mr. Tetterby.
“Well, ’Dolphus, I’m sure I never think of such things
now, to regret them; and I’m sure I’ve got as good a husband,
and would do as much to prove that I was fond of him, as - ”
“As any little woman in the world,” said Mr. Tetterby.
“Very good. Very good.”
If Mr. Tetterby had been ten feet high, he could not have expressed
a gentler consideration for Mrs. Tetterby’s fairy-like stature;
and if Mrs. Tetterby had been two feet high, she could not have felt
it more appropriately her due.
“But you see, ’Dolphus,” said Mrs. Tetterby, “this
being Christmas-time, when all people who can, make holiday, and when
all people who have got money, like to spend some, I did, somehow, get
a little out of sorts when I was in the streets just now. There
were so many things to be sold - such delicious things to eat, such
fine things to look at, such delightful things to have - and there was
so much calculating and calculating necessary, before I durst lay out
a sixpence for the commonest thing; and the basket was so large, and
wanted so much in it; and my stock of money was so small, and would
go such a little way; - you hate me, don’t you, ’Dolphus?”
“Not quite,” said Mr. Tetterby, “as yet.”
“Well! I’ll tell you the whole truth,” pursued
his wife, penitently, “and then perhaps you will. I felt
all this, so much, when I was trudging about in the cold, and when I
saw a lot of other calculating faces and large baskets trudging about,
too, that I began to think whether I mightn’t have done better,
and been happier, if - I - hadn’t - ” the wedding-ring went
round again, and Mrs. Tetterby shook her downcast head as she turned
it.
“I see,” said her husband quietly; “if you hadn’t
married at all, or if you had married somebody else?”
“Yes,” sobbed Mrs. Tetterby. “That’s really
what I thought. Do you hate me now, ’Dolphus?”
“Why no,” said Mr. Tetterby. “I don’t
find that I do, as yet.”
Mrs. Tetterby gave him a thankful kiss, and went on.
“I begin to hope you won’t, now, ’Dolphus, though
I’m afraid I haven’t told you the worst. I can’t
think what came over me. I don’t know whether I was ill,
or mad, or what I was, but I couldn’t call up anything that seemed
to bind us to each other, or to reconcile me to my fortune. All
the pleasures and enjoyments we had ever had - they seemed so
poor and insignificant, I hated them. I could have trodden on
them. And I could think of nothing else, except our being poor,
and the number of mouths there were at home.”
“Well, well, my dear,” said Mr. Tetterby, shaking her hand
encouragingly, “that’s truth, after all. We are
poor, and there are a number of mouths at home here.”
“Ah! but, Dolf, Dolf!” cried his wife, laying her hands
upon his neck, “my good, kind, patient fellow, when I had been
at home a very little while - how different! Oh, Dolf, dear, how
different it was! I felt as if there was a rush of recollection
on me, all at once, that softened my hard heart, and filled it up till
it was bursting. All our struggles for a livelihood, all our cares
and wants since we have been married, all the times of sickness, all
the hours of watching, we have ever had, by one another, or by the children,
seemed to speak to me, and say that they had made us one, and that I
never might have been, or could have been, or would have been, any other
than the wife and mother I am. Then, the cheap enjoyments that
I could have trodden on so cruelly, got to be so precious to me - Oh
so priceless, and dear! - that I couldn’t bear to think how much
I had wronged them; and I said, and say again a hundred times, how could
I ever behave so, ’Dolphus, how could I ever have the heart to
do it!”
The good woman, quite carried away by her honest tenderness and remorse,
was weeping with all her heart, when she started up with a scream, and
ran behind her husband. Her cry was so terrified, that the children
started from their sleep and from their beds, and clung about her.
Nor did her gaze belie her voice, as she pointed to a pale man in a
black cloak who had come into the room.
“Look at that man! Look there! What does he want?”
“My dear,” returned her husband, “I’ll ask him
if you’ll let me go. What’s the matter! How
you shake!”
“I saw him in the street, when I was out just now. He looked
at me, and stood near me. I am afraid of him.”
“Afraid of him! Why?”
“I don’t know why - I - stop! husband!” for he was
going towards the stranger.
She had one hand pressed upon her forehead, and one upon her breast;
and there was a peculiar fluttering all over her, and a hurried unsteady
motion of her eyes, as if she had lost something.
“Are you ill, my dear?”
“What is it that is going from me again?” she muttered,
in a low voice. “What is this that is going away?”
Then she abruptly answered: “Ill? No, I am quite well,”
and stood looking vacantly at the floor.
Her husband, who had not been altogether free from the infection of
her fear at first, and whom the present strangeness of her manner did
not tend to reassure, addressed himself to the pale visitor in the black
cloak, who stood still, and whose eyes were bent upon the ground.
“What may be your pleasure, sir,” he asked, “with
us?”
“I fear that my coming in unperceived,” returned the visitor,
“has alarmed you; but you were talking and did not hear me.”
“My little woman says - perhaps you heard her say it,” returned
Mr. Tetterby, “that it’s not the first time you have alarmed
her to-night.”
“I am sorry for it. I remember to have observed her, for
a few moments only, in the street. I had no intention of frightening
her.”
As he raised his eyes in speaking, she raised hers. It was extraordinary
to see what dread she had of him, and with what dread he observed it
- and yet how narrowly and closely.
“My name,” he said, “is Redlaw. I come from
the old college hard by. A young gentleman who is a student there,
lodges in your house, does he not?”
“Mr. Denham?” said Tetterby.
“Yes.”
It was a natural action, and so slight as to be hardly noticeable; but
the little man, before speaking again, passed his hand across his forehead,
and looked quickly round the room, as though he were sensible of some
change in its atmosphere. The Chemist, instantly transferring
to him the look of dread he had directed towards the wife, stepped back,
and his face turned paler.
“The gentleman’s room,” said Tetterby, “is upstairs,
sir. There’s a more convenient private entrance; but as
you have come in here, it will save your going out into the cold, if
you’ll take this little staircase,” showing one communicating
directly with the parlour, “and go up to him that way, if you
wish to see him.”
“Yes, I wish to see him,” said the Chemist. “Can
you spare a light?”
The watchfulness of his haggard look, and the inexplicable distrust
that darkened it, seemed to trouble Mr. Tetterby. He paused; and
looking fixedly at him in return, stood for a minute or so, like a man
stupefied, or fascinated.
At length he said, “I’ll light you, sir, if you’ll
follow me.”
“No,” replied the Chemist, “I don’t wish to
be attended, or announced to him. He does not expect me.
I would rather go alone. Please to give me the light, if you can
spare it, and I’ll find the way.”
In the quickness of his expression of this desire, and in taking the
candle from the newsman, he touched him on the breast. Withdrawing
his hand hastily, almost as though he had wounded him by accident (for
he did not know in what part of himself his new power resided, or how
it was communicated, or how the manner of its reception varied in different
persons), he turned and ascended the stair.
But when he reached the top, he stopped and looked down. The wife
was standing in the same place, twisting her ring round and round upon
her finger. The husband, with his head bent forward on his breast,
was musing heavily and sullenly. The children, still clustering
about the mother, gazed timidly after the visitor, and nestled together
when they saw him looking down.
“Come!” said the father, roughly. “There’s
enough of this. Get to bed here!”
“The place is inconvenient and small enough,” the mother
added, “without you. Get to bed!”
The whole brood, scared and sad, crept away; little Johnny and the baby
lagging last. The mother, glancing contemptuously round the sordid
room, and tossing from her the fragments of their meal, stopped on the
threshold of her task of clearing the table, and sat down, pondering
idly and dejectedly. The father betook himself to the chimney-corner,
and impatiently raking the small fire together, bent over it as if he
would monopolise it all. They did not interchange a word.
The Chemist, paler than before, stole upward like a thief; looking back
upon the change below, and dreading equally to go on or return.
“What have I done!” he said, confusedly. “What
am I going to do!”
“To be the benefactor of mankind,” he thought he heard a
voice reply.
He looked round, but there was nothing there; and a passage now shutting
out the little parlour from his view, he went on, directing his eyes
before him at the way he went.
“It is only since last night,” he muttered gloomily, “that
I have remained shut up, and yet all things are strange to me.
I am strange to myself. I am here, as in a dream. What interest
have I in this place, or in any place that I can bring to my remembrance?
My mind is going blind!”
There was a door before him, and he knocked at it. Being invited,
by a voice within, to enter, he complied.
“Is that my kind nurse?” said the voice. “But
I need not ask her. There is no one else to come here.”
It spoke cheerfully, though in a languid tone, and attracted his attention
to a young man lying on a couch, drawn before the chimney-piece, with
the back towards the door. A meagre scanty stove, pinched and
hollowed like a sick man’s cheeks, and bricked into the centre
of a hearth that it could scarcely warm, contained the fire, to which
his face was turned. Being so near the windy house-top, it wasted
quickly, and with a busy sound, and the burning ashes dropped down fast.
“They chink when they shoot out here,” said the student,
smiling, “so, according to the gossips, they are not coffins,
but purses. I shall be well and rich yet, some day, if it please
God, and shall live perhaps to love a daughter Milly, in remembrance
of the kindest nature and the gentlest heart in the world.”
He put up his hand as if expecting her to take it, but, being weakened,
he lay still, with his face resting on his other hand, and did not turn
round.
The Chemist glanced about the room; - at the student’s books and
papers, piled upon a table in a corner, where they, and his extinguished
reading-lamp, now prohibited and put away, told of the attentive hours
that had gone before this illness, and perhaps caused it; - at such
signs of his old health and freedom, as the out-of-door attire that
hung idle on the wall; - at those remembrances of other and less solitary
scenes, the little miniatures upon the chimney-piece, and the drawing
of home; - at that token of his emulation, perhaps, in some sort, of
his personal attachment too, the framed engraving of himself, the looker-on.
The time had been, only yesterday, when not one of these objects, in
its remotest association of interest with the living figure before him,
would have been lost on Redlaw. Now, they were but objects; or,
if any gleam of such connexion shot upon him, it perplexed, and not
enlightened him, as he stood looking round with a dull wonder.
The student, recalling the thin hand which had remained so long untouched,
raised himself on the couch, and turned his head.
“Mr. Redlaw!” he exclaimed, and started up.
Redlaw put out his arm.
“Don’t come nearer to me. I will sit here. Remain
you, where you are!”
He sat down on a chair near the door, and having glanced at the young
man standing leaning with his hand upon the couch, spoke with his eyes
averted towards the ground.
“I heard, by an accident, by what accident is no matter, that
one of my class was ill and solitary. I received no other description
of him, than that he lived in this street. Beginning my inquiries
at the first house in it, I have found him.”
“I have been ill, sir,” returned the student, not merely
with a modest hesitation, but with a kind of awe of him, “but
am greatly better. An attack of fever - of the brain, I believe
- has weakened me, but I am much better. I cannot say I have been
solitary, in my illness, or I should forget the ministering hand that
has been near me.”
“You are speaking of the keeper’s wife,” said Redlaw.
“Yes.” The student bent his head, as if he rendered
her some silent homage.
The Chemist, in whom there was a cold, monotonous apathy, which rendered
him more like a marble image on the tomb of the man who had started
from his dinner yesterday at the first mention of this student’s
case, than the breathing man himself, glanced again at the student leaning
with his hand upon the couch, and looked upon the ground, and in the
air, as if for light for his blinded mind.
“I remembered your name,” he said, “when it was mentioned
to me down stairs, just now; and I recollect your face. We have
held but very little personal communication together?”
“Very little.”
“You have retired and withdrawn from me, more than any of the
rest, I think?”
The student signified assent.
“And why?” said the Chemist; not with the least expression
of interest, but with a moody, wayward kind of curiosity. “Why?
How comes it that you have sought to keep especially from me, the knowledge
of your remaining here, at this season, when all the rest have dispersed,
and of your being ill? I want to know why this is?”
The young man, who had heard him with increasing agitation, raised his
downcast eyes to his face, and clasping his hands together, cried with
sudden earnestness and with trembling lips:
“Mr. Redlaw! You have discovered me. You know my secret!”
“Secret?” said the Chemist, harshly. “I know?”
“Yes! Your manner, so different from the interest and sympathy
which endear you to so many hearts, your altered voice, the constraint
there is in everything you say, and in your looks,” replied the
student, “warn me that you know me. That you would conceal
it, even now, is but a proof to me (God knows I need none!) of your
natural kindness and of the bar there is between us.”
A vacant and contemptuous laugh, was all his answer.
“But, Mr. Redlaw,” said the student, “as a just man,
and a good man, think how innocent I am, except in name and descent,
of participation in any wrong inflicted on you or in any sorrow you
have borne.”
“Sorrow!” said Redlaw, laughing. “Wrong!
What are those to me?”
“For Heaven’s sake,” entreated the shrinking student,
“do not let the mere interchange of a few words with me change
you like this, sir! Let me pass again from your knowledge and
notice. Let me occupy my old reserved and distant place among
those whom you instruct. Know me only by the name I have assumed,
and not by that of Longford - ”
“Longford!” exclaimed the other.
He clasped his head with both his hands, and for a moment turned upon
the young man his own intelligent and thoughtful face. But the
light passed from it, like the sun-beam of an instant, and it clouded
as before.
“The name my mother bears, sir,” faltered the young man,
“the name she took, when she might, perhaps, have taken one more
honoured. Mr. Redlaw,” hesitating, “I believe I know
that history. Where my information halts, my guesses at what is
wanting may supply something not remote from the truth. I am the
child of a marriage that has not proved itself a well-assorted or a
happy one. From infancy, I have heard you spoken of with honour
and respect - with something that was almost reverence. I have
heard of such devotion, of such fortitude and tenderness, of such rising
up against the obstacles which press men down, that my fancy, since
I learnt my little lesson from my mother, has shed a lustre on your
name. At last, a poor student myself, from whom could I learn
but you?”
Redlaw, unmoved, unchanged, and looking at him with a staring frown,
answered by no word or sign.
“I cannot say,” pursued the other, “I should try in
vain to say, how much it has impressed me, and affected me, to find
the gracious traces of the past, in that certain power of winning gratitude
and confidence which is associated among us students (among the humblest
of us, most) with Mr. Redlaw’s generous name. Our ages and
positions are so different, sir, and I am so accustomed to regard you
from a distance, that I wonder at my own presumption when I touch, however
lightly, on that theme. But to one who - I may say, who felt no
common interest in my mother once - it may be something to hear, now
that all is past, with what indescribable feelings of affection I have,
in my obscurity, regarded him; with what pain and reluctance I have
kept aloof from his encouragement, when a word of it would have made
me rich; yet how I have felt it fit that I should hold my course, content
to know him, and to be unknown. Mr. Redlaw,” said the student,
faintly, “what I would have said, I have said ill, for my strength
is strange to me as yet; but for anything unworthy in this fraud of
mine, forgive me, and for all the rest forget me!”
The staring frown remained on Redlaw’s face, and yielded to no
other expression until the student, with these words, advanced towards
him, as if to touch his hand, when he drew back and cried to him:
“Don’t come nearer to me!”
The young man stopped, shocked by the eagerness of his recoil, and by
the sternness of his repulsion; and he passed his hand, thoughtfully,
across his forehead.
“The past is past,” said the Chemist. “It dies
like the brutes. Who talks to me of its traces in my life?
He raves or lies! What have I to do with your distempered dreams?
If you want money, here it is. I came to offer it; and that is
all I came for. There can be nothing else that brings me here,”
he muttered, holding his head again, with both his hands. “There
can be nothing else, and yet - ”
He had tossed his purse upon the table. As he fell into this dim
cogitation with himself, the student took it up, and held it out to
him.
“Take it back, sir,” he said proudly, though not angrily.
“I wish you could take from me, with it, the remembrance of your
words and offer.”
“You do?” he retorted, with a wild light in his eyes.
“You do?”
“I do!”
The Chemist went close to him, for the first time, and took the purse,
and turned him by the arm, and looked him in the face.
“There is sorrow and trouble in sickness, is there not?”
he demanded, with a laugh.
The wondering student answered, “Yes.”
“In its unrest, in its anxiety, in its suspense, in all its train
of physical and mental miseries?” said the Chemist, with a wild
unearthly exultation. “All best forgotten, are they not?”
The student did not answer, but again passed his hand, confusedly, across
his forehead. Redlaw still held him by the sleeve, when Milly’s
voice was heard outside.
“I can see very well now,” she said, “thank you, Dolf.
Don’t cry, dear. Father and mother will be comfortable again,
to-morrow, and home will be comfortable too. A gentleman with
him, is there!”
Redlaw released his hold, as he listened.
“I have feared, from the first moment,” he murmured to himself,
“to meet her. There is a steady quality of goodness in her,
that I dread to influence. I may be the murderer of what is tenderest
and best within her bosom.”
She was knocking at the door.
“Shall I dismiss it as an idle foreboding, or still avoid her?”
he muttered, looking uneasily around.
She was knocking at the door again.
“Of all the visitors who could come here,” he said, in a
hoarse alarmed voice, turning to his companion, “this is the one
I should desire most to avoid. Hide me!”
The student opened a frail door in the wall, communicating where the
garret-roof began to slope towards the floor, with a small inner room.
Redlaw passed in hastily, and shut it after him.
The student then resumed his place upon the couch, and called to her
to enter.
“Dear Mr. Edmund,” said Milly, looking round, “they
told me there was a gentleman here.”
“There is no one here but I.”
“There has been some one?”
“Yes, yes, there has been some one.”
She put her little basket on the table, and went up to the back of the
couch, as if to take the extended hand - but it was not there.
A little surprised, in her quiet way, she leaned over to look at his
face, and gently touched him on the brow.
“Are you quite as well to-night? Your head is not so cool
as in the afternoon.”
“Tut!” said the student, petulantly, “very little
ails me.”
A little more surprise, but no reproach, was expressed in her face,
as she withdrew to the other side of the table, and took a small packet
of needlework from her basket. But she laid it down again, on
second thoughts, and going noiselessly about the room, set everything
exactly in its place, and in the neatest order; even to the cushions
on the couch, which she touched with so light a hand, that he hardly
seemed to know it, as he lay looking at the fire. When all this
was done, and she had swept the hearth, she sat down, in her modest
little bonnet, to her work, and was quietly busy on it directly.
“It’s the new muslin curtain for the window, Mr. Edmund,”
said Milly, stitching away as she talked. “It will look
very clean and nice, though it costs very little, and will save your
eyes, too, from the light. My William says the room should not
be too light just now, when you are recovering so well, or the glare
might make you giddy.”
He said nothing; but there was something so fretful and impatient in
his change of position, that her quick fingers stopped, and she looked
at him anxiously.
“The pillows are not comfortable,” she said, laying down
her work and rising. “I will soon put them right.”
“They are very well,” he answered. “Leave them
alone, pray. You make so much of everything.”
He raised his head to say this, and looked at her so thanklessly, that,
after he had thrown himself down again, she stood timidly pausing.
However, she resumed her seat, and her needle, without having directed
even a murmuring look towards him, and was soon as busy as before.
“I have been thinking, Mr. Edmund, that you have been often
thinking of late, when I have been sitting by, how true the saying is,
that adversity is a good teacher. Health will be more precious
to you, after this illness, than it has ever been. And years hence,
when this time of year comes round, and you remember the days when you
lay here sick, alone, that the knowledge of your illness might not afflict
those who are dearest to you, your home will be doubly dear and doubly
blest. Now, isn’t that a good, true thing?”
She was too intent upon her work, and too earnest in what she said,
and too composed and quiet altogether, to be on the watch for any look
he might direct towards her in reply; so the shaft of his ungrateful
glance fell harmless, and did not wound her.
“Ah!” said Milly, with her pretty head inclining thoughtfully
on one side, as she looked down, following her busy fingers with her
eyes. “Even on me - and I am very different from you, Mr.
Edmund, for I have no learning, and don’t know how to think properly
- this view of such things has made a great impression, since you have
been lying ill. When I have seen you so touched by the kindness
and attention of the poor people down stairs, I have felt that you thought
even that experience some repayment for the loss of health, and I have
read in your face, as plain as if it was a book, that but for some trouble
and sorrow we should never know half the good there is about us.”
His getting up from the couch, interrupted her, or she was going on
to say more.
“We needn’t magnify the merit, Mrs. William,” he rejoined
slightingly. “The people down stairs will be paid in good
time I dare say, for any little extra service they may have rendered
me; and perhaps they anticipate no less. I am much obliged to
you, too.”
Her fingers stopped, and she looked at him.
“I can’t be made to feel the more obliged by your exaggerating
the case,” he said. “I am sensible that you have been
interested in me, and I say I am much obliged to you. What more
would you have?”
Her work fell on her lap, as she still looked at him walking to and
fro with an intolerant air, and stopping now and then.
“I say again, I am much obliged to you. Why weaken my sense
of what is your due in obligation, by preferring enormous claims upon
me? Trouble, sorrow, affliction, adversity! One might suppose
I had been dying a score of deaths here!”
“Do you believe, Mr. Edmund,” she asked, rising and going
nearer to him, “that I spoke of the poor people of the house,
with any reference to myself? To me?” laying her hand upon
her bosom with a simple and innocent smile of astonishment.
“Oh! I think nothing about it, my good creature,”
he returned. “I have had an indisposition, which your solicitude
- observe! I say solicitude - makes a great deal more of, than it merits;
and it’s over, and we can’t perpetuate it.”
He coldly took a book, and sat down at the table.
She watched him for a little while, until her smile was quite gone,
and then, returning to where her basket was, said gently:
“Mr. Edmund, would you rather be alone?”
“There is no reason why I should detain you here,” he replied.
“Except - ” said Milly, hesitating, and showing her work.
“Oh! the curtain,” he answered, with a supercilious laugh.
“That’s not worth staying for.”
She made up the little packet again, and put it in her basket.
Then, standing before him with such an air of patient entreaty that
he could not choose but look at her, she said:
“If you should want me, I will come back willingly. When
you did want me, I was quite happy to come; there was no merit in it.
I think you must be afraid, that, now you are getting well, I may be
troublesome to you; but I should not have been, indeed. I should
have come no longer than your weakness and confinement lasted.
You owe me nothing; but it is right that you should deal as justly by
me as if I was a lady - even the very lady that you love; and if you
suspect me of meanly making much of the little I have tried to do to
comfort your sick room, you do yourself more wrong than ever you can
do me. That is why I am sorry. That is why I am very sorry.”
If she had been as passionate as she was quiet, as indignant as she
was calm, as angry in her look as she was gentle, as loud of tone as
she was low and clear, she might have left no sense of her departure
in the room, compared with that which fell upon the lonely student when
she went away.
He was gazing drearily upon the place where she had been, when Redlaw
came out of his concealment, and came to the door.
“When sickness lays its hand on you again,” he said, looking
fiercely back at him, “ - may it be soon! - Die here! Rot
here!”
“What have you done?” returned the other, catching at his
cloak. “What change have you wrought in me? What curse
have you brought upon me? Give me back myself!”
“Give me back myself!” exclaimed Redlaw like a madman.
“I am infected! I am infectious! I am charged with
poison for my own mind, and the minds of all mankind. Where I
felt interest, compassion, sympathy, I am turning into stone.
Selfishness and ingratitude spring up in my blighting footsteps.
I am only so much less base than the wretches whom I make so, that in
the moment of their transformation I can hate them.”
As he spoke - the young man still holding to his cloak - he cast him
off, and struck him: then, wildly hurried out into the night air where
the wind was blowing, the snow falling, the cloud-drift sweeping on,
the moon dimly shining; and where, blowing in the wind, falling with
the snow, drifting with the clouds, shining in the moonlight, and heavily
looming in the darkness, were the Phantom’s words, “The
gift that I have given, you shall give again, go where you will!”
Whither he went, he neither knew nor cared, so that he avoided company.
The change he felt within him made the busy streets a desert, and himself
a desert, and the multitude around him, in their manifold endurances
and ways of life, a mighty waste of sand, which the winds tossed into
unintelligible heaps and made a ruinous confusion of. Those traces
in his breast which the Phantom had told him would “die out soon,”
were not, as yet, so far upon their way to death, but that he understood
enough of what he was, and what he made of others, to desire to be alone.
This put it in his mind - he suddenly bethought himself, as he was going
along, of the boy who had rushed into his room. And then he recollected,
that of those with whom he had communicated since the Phantom’s
disappearance, that boy alone had shown no sign of being changed.
Monstrous and odious as the wild thing was to him, he determined to
seek it out, and prove if this were really so; and also to seek it with
another intention, which came into his thoughts at the same time.
So, resolving with some difficulty where he was, he directed his steps
back to the old college, and to that part of it where the general porch
was, and where, alone, the pavement was worn by the tread of the students’
feet.
The keeper’s house stood just within the iron gates, forming a
part of the chief quadrangle. There was a little cloister outside,
and from that sheltered place he knew he could look in at the window
of their ordinary room, and see who was within. The iron gates
were shut, but his hand was familiar with the fastening, and drawing
it back by thrusting in his wrist between the bars, he passed through
softly, shut it again, and crept up to the window, crumbling the thin
crust of snow with his feet.
The fire, to which he had directed the boy last night, shining brightly
through the glass, made an illuminated place upon the ground.
Instinctively avoiding this, and going round it, he looked in at the
window. At first, he thought that there was no one there, and
that the blaze was reddening only the old beams in the ceiling and the
dark walls; but peering in more narrowly, he saw the object of his search
coiled asleep before it on the floor. He passed quickly to the
door, opened it, and went in.
The creature lay in such a fiery heat, that, as the Chemist stooped
to rouse him, it scorched his head. So soon as he was touched,
the boy, not half awake, clutching his rags together with the instinct
of flight upon him, half rolled and half ran into a distant corner of
the room, where, heaped upon the ground, he struck his foot out to defend
himself.
“Get up!” said the Chemist. “You have not forgotten
me?”
“You let me alone!” returned the boy. “This
is the woman’s house - not yours.”
The Chemist’s steady eye controlled him somewhat, or inspired
him with enough submission to be raised upon his feet, and looked at.
“Who washed them, and put those bandages where they were bruised
and cracked?” asked the Chemist, pointing to their altered state.
“The woman did.”
“And is it she who has made you cleaner in the face, too?”
“Yes, the woman.”
Redlaw asked these questions to attract his eyes towards himself, and
with the same intent now held him by the chin, and threw his wild hair
back, though he loathed to touch him. The boy watched his eyes
keenly, as if he thought it needful to his own defence, not knowing
what he might do next; and Redlaw could see well that no change came
over him.
“Where are they?” he inquired.
“The woman’s out.”
“I know she is. Where is the old man with the white hair,
and his son?”
“The woman’s husband, d’ye mean?” inquired the
boy.
“Ay. Where are those two?”
“Out. Something’s the matter, somewhere. They
were fetched out in a hurry, and told me to stop here.”
“Come with me,” said the Chemist, “and I’ll
give you money.”
“Come where? and how much will you give?”
“I’ll give you more shillings than you ever saw, and bring
you back soon. Do you know your way to where you came from?”
“You let me go,” returned the boy, suddenly twisting out
of his grasp. “I’m not a going to take you there.
Let me be, or I’ll heave some fire at you!”
He was down before it, and ready, with his savage little hand, to pluck
the burning coals out.
What the Chemist had felt, in observing the effect of his charmed influence
stealing over those with whom he came in contact, was not nearly equal
to the cold vague terror with which he saw this baby-monster put it
at defiance. It chilled his blood to look on the immovable impenetrable
thing, in the likeness of a child, with its sharp malignant face turned
up to his, and its almost infant hand, ready at the bars.
“Listen, boy!” he said. “You shall take me where
you please, so that you take me where the people are very miserable
or very wicked. I want to do them good, and not to harm them.
You shall have money, as I have told you, and I will bring you back.
Get up! Come quickly!” He made a hasty step towards
the door, afraid of her returning.
“Will you let me walk by myself, and never hold me, nor yet touch
me?” said the boy, slowly withdrawing the hand with which he threatened,
and beginning to get up.
“I will!”
“And let me go, before, behind, or anyways I like?”
“I will!”
“Give me some money first, then, and go.”
The Chemist laid a few shillings, one by one, in his extended hand.
To count them was beyond the boy’s knowledge, but he said “one,”
every time, and avariciously looked at each as it was given, and at
the donor. He had nowhere to put them, out of his hand, but in
his mouth; and he put them there.
Redlaw then wrote with his pencil on a leaf of his pocket-book, that
the boy was with him; and laying it on the table, signed to him to follow.
Keeping his rags together, as usual, the boy complied, and went out
with his bare head and naked feet into the winter night.
Preferring not to depart by the iron gate by which he had entered, where
they were in danger of meeting her whom he so anxiously avoided, the
Chemist led the way, through some of those passages among which the
boy had lost himself, and by that portion of the building where he lived,
to a small door of which he had the key. When they got into the
street, he stopped to ask his guide - who instantly retreated from him
- if he knew where they were.
The savage thing looked here and there, and at length, nodding his head,
pointed in the direction he designed to take. Redlaw going on
at once, he followed, something less suspiciously; shifting his money
from his mouth into his hand, and back again into his mouth, and stealthily
rubbing it bright upon his shreds of dress, as he went along.
Three times, in their progress, they were side by side. Three
times they stopped, being side by side. Three times the Chemist
glanced down at his face, and shuddered as it forced upon him one reflection.
The first occasion was when they were crossing an old churchyard, and
Redlaw stopped among the graves, utterly at a loss how to connect them
with any tender, softening, or consolatory thought.
The second was, when the breaking forth of the moon induced him to look
up at the Heavens, where he saw her in her glory, surrounded by a host
of stars he still knew by the names and histories which human science
has appended to them; but where he saw nothing else he had been wont
to see, felt nothing he had been wont to feel, in looking up there,
on a bright night.
The third was when he stopped to listen to a plaintive strain of music,
but could only hear a tune, made manifest to him by the dry mechanism
of the instruments and his own ears, with no address to any mystery
within him, without a whisper in it of the past, or of the future, powerless
upon him as the sound of last year’s running water, or the rushing
of last year’s wind.
At each of these three times, he saw with horror that, in spite of the
vast intellectual distance between them, and their being unlike each
other in all physical respects, the expression on the boy’s face
was the expression on his own.
They journeyed on for some time - now through such crowded places, that
he often looked over his shoulder thinking he had lost his guide, but
generally finding him within his shadow on his other side; now by ways
so quiet, that he could have counted his short, quick, naked footsteps
coming on behind - until they arrived at a ruinous collection of houses,
and the boy touched him and stopped.
“In there!” he said, pointing out one house where there
were shattered lights in the windows, and a dim lantern in the doorway,
with “Lodgings for Travellers” painted on it.
Redlaw looked about him; from the houses to the waste piece of ground
on which the houses stood, or rather did not altogether tumble down,
unfenced, undrained, unlighted, and bordered by a sluggish ditch; from
that, to the sloping line of arches, part of some neighbouring viaduct
or bridge with which it was surrounded, and which lessened gradually
towards them, until the last but one was a mere kennel for a dog, the
last a plundered little heap of bricks; from that, to the child, close
to him, cowering and trembling with the cold, and limping on one little
foot, while he coiled the other round his leg to warm it, yet staring
at all these things with that frightful likeness of expression so apparent
in his face, that Redlaw started from him.
“In there!” said the boy, pointing out the house again.
“I’ll wait.”
“Will they let me in?” asked Redlaw.
“Say you’re a doctor,” he answered with a nod.
“There’s plenty ill here.”
Looking back on his way to the house-door, Redlaw saw him trail himself
upon the dust and crawl within the shelter of the smallest arch, as
if he were a rat. He had no pity for the thing, but he was afraid
of it; and when it looked out of its den at him, he hurried to the house
as a retreat.
“Sorrow, wrong, and trouble,” said the Chemist, with a painful
effort at some more distinct remembrance, “at least haunt this
place darkly. He can do no harm, who brings forgetfulness of such
things here!”
With these words, he pushed the yielding door, and went in.
There was a woman sitting on the stairs, either asleep or forlorn, whose
head was bent down on her hands and knees. As it was not easy
to pass without treading on her, and as she was perfectly regardless
of his near approach, he stopped, and touched her on the shoulder.
Looking up, she showed him quite a young face, but one whose bloom and
promise were all swept away, as if the haggard winter should unnaturally
kill the spring.
With little or no show of concern on his account, she moved nearer to
the wall to leave him a wider passage.
“What are you?” said Redlaw, pausing, with his hand upon
the broken stair-rail.
“What do you think I am?” she answered, showing him her
face again.
He looked upon the ruined Temple of God, so lately made, so soon disfigured;
and something, which was not compassion - for the springs in which a
true compassion for such miseries has its rise, were dried up in his
breast - but which was nearer to it, for the moment, than any feeling
that had lately struggled into the darkening, but not yet wholly darkened,
night of his mind - mingled a touch of softness with his next words.
“I am come here to give relief, if I can,” he said.
“Are you thinking of any wrong?”
She frowned at him, and then laughed; and then her laugh prolonged itself
into a shivering sigh, as she dropped her head again, and hid her fingers
in her hair.
“Are you thinking of a wrong?” he asked once more.